Tag: rape culture

Sexual Assault Awareness Month: Effects

April 30, 2018

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. In honor of that, I’ve been posting a series of blog posts this month about different statistics and areas of sexual assault. If you haven’t already, check out my first four blogs in the series: Sexual Assault Awareness Month, LGTBQIA+, Understanding Consent, and College Campuses.

Today is my last blog in the series, as it is the last day of April. It’s important to remember of course that, just because Sexual Assault Awareness Month is over, it doesn’t mean we can just quick talking about it. This is a continuous battle.

For this last post, I wanted to talk about the effects of sexual assault. It’s important to remember that trauma affects everyone differently, but I still wanted to include how people struggle after sexual assault/abuse, and hopefully how we can help as well.

According to RAIIN, “Sexual violence can have psychological, emotional, and physical effects on a survivor. These effects aren’t always easy to deal with, but with the right help and support they can be managed.”

Common effects of sexual violence:

  • Depression – Feelings of sadness and hopelessness are common for survivors, but if they persist for long periods of time and regularly affect normal thought patterns, it may be a sign of depression.
  • Flashbacks – Flashbacks are when survivors feel or believe themselves to be back in their moment(s) of trauma. In other words, they feel as if their experience with sexual violence is happening all over again. Flashbacks can be triggered by a certain smell, sound, etc. It’s important to understand what triggers flashbacks, and how to come back from them.
  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD is commonly associated with the military; however, anyone who has experienced trauma can develop PTSD. It’s normal for survivors to feel nervous, anxious, stressed, or fearful, but if these feelings are extreme and persist for an extend period of time, it could indicate PTSD.
  • Self-Harm
  • Sexually Transmitted Infections
  • Substance Abuse
  • Dissociation – Dissociation is described as a “detachment from reality.” It is a common coping mechanism for those who have experienced sexual violence.
  • Eating Disorders – Sexual violence can lead to problems with body image and self-esteem, which could feed into an eating disorder.
  • Pregnancy – Each year, an estimated 32,101 pregnancies result from rape among adult women. Pregnancy resulting from rape can cause many mental and physical problems for the survivor.
  • Sleep Disorders – Sleep is an important tool for mental and physical recovery from trauma. Sleep disorders could be accompanied by nightmares, insomnia, and/or sleep terrors.
  • Suicide

According to RAINN, a child is sexually assaulted every 8 minutes in the United States. Adults that experienced sexual abuse as a child might still have feelings of guilt and blame, problems with intimacy and relationships, and problems with self-esteem. It’s important to remember that there is no set timeline for dealing with and recovering from a trauma.

The best thing you can do for survivors in your life is to believe them and be supportive. Support might look different for different people. My best advice is to let them know you are there for them, check in on my them regularly, do not let them feel like their problem is a burden on you, and just ask them if there is anything you can do to help.

Recovery is a process. It takes time, patience, and there will be setbacks.

Survivors, stay strong, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. You are not alone.

Resources for survivors:

Resources for friends and family:

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Sexual Assault Awareness Month: Understanding Consent

April 17, 2018

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. In honor of that, I’m going to post a series of blog posts this month about different statistics and areas of sexual assault. If you haven’t already, check out my first two blogs in the series: Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Sexual Assault Awareness Month: LGTBQIA+.

Today, I want to discuss what I believe to be the most important part of Sexual Assault Awareness: Consent. There are some people in the world that intend harm when they sexually assault or harass another human being; however, in many other cases, there is a lack of education about consent and what it looks like.

RAINN defines consent as an agreement between individuals to engage in sexual activity:

“When you’re engaging in sexual activity, consent is about communication—and it should happen every time. The laws about consent vary by state and situation, but you don’t have to be a legal expert to understand how consent plays out in real life.”

There are many different ways to ask for or give consent, and RAINN details a few of these: asking if something is okay when transitioning to a new activity in the bedroom, explicitly agreeing or giving affirmatives to certain activities, or using positive body language to signal your comfort to your partner. There is many more ways, of course, but it’s important to remember communication when asking for or expressing consent.

According to RAINN, Consent does NOT look like:

  • refusing to acknowledge “no” or other words that signify that your partner is not interested
  • assuming certain behaviors (flirting), clothing, kissing is an invitation for more
  • someone being under the legal age of consent
  • someone under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol
  • pressuring someone into sexual activity by using fear/intimidation
  • assuming you have consent because your partner has given consent to you in prior situations

Different states have different definitions for consent, but RAINN defines three key legal terms regarding consent.

Affirmative consent: Did the person express overt actions or words indicating agreement for sexual acts?

Freely given consent: Was the consent offered of the person’s own free will, without being induced by fraud, coercion, violence, or threat of violence?

Capacity to consent: Did the individual have the capacity, or legal ability, to consent?

Capacity to consent involves many different factors. Whether or not a person has the legal ability to consent to sexual activity could be based on age, developmental disability, intoxication, physical disability, relationship of victim/perpetrator (was perpetrator in a position of authority?), unconsciousness, and vulnerable adults (i.e. elderly or ill adult). To view specifics of these factors, visit RAINN.

If you take anything from this blog post, these are the points I want you to remember.

You always have the right to say “no.” Even if it is your significant other or you’ve previously been involved with sexual activity with them.

Someone that is drunk or high is incapable of giving consent. Even if they seem into it at the time, they do not have the capacity to consent to sexual activity in that moment.

You can always change your mind. Consent is continuous, and if halfway through, you decide it’s no longer what you want — tell your partner. You have every right to stop.

Communication is key. Get comfortable asking for consent, and get comfortable providing it. Having open, healthy communication will truly benefit a healthy sexual relationship/encounter.

Remember you are not alone. If you need help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org.

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Sexual Assault Awareness Month

April 5, 2018

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. In honor of it, I’m going to post a series of blog posts this month about different statistics and areas of sexual assault.

Today, I’m going to go over some of the types of sexual violence, along with some basic statistics. I’ll also share some resources that we can use to help support survivors, not just during April, but hopefully continuing on in the future as well.

 

Read about some of the different types of sexual violence and the types of actions they might include here. Some of the following definitions might change from state to state on a legal basis.

Sexual Violence – “an all-encompassing, non-legal term that refers to crimes like sexual assault, rape, and sexual abuse” RAINN

Sexual Assault – “refers to sexual contact or behavior that occurs without explicit consent of the victim” RAINN

Rape – refers to “penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.” U.S. Dept. of Justice

Sexual Abuse – “unwanted sexual activity, with perpetrators using force, making threats or taking advantage of victims not able to give consent” APA

Child Sexual Abuse – “when a perpetrator intentionally harms a minor physically, psychologically, sexually, or by acts of neglect” RAINN

Intimate Partner Sexual Violence – sexual assault (as defined above) committed by a partner, significant other, spouse, etc. RAINN

Incest – “refers to sexual contact between family members” RAINN

Sexual Harassment – “includes unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature in the workplace or learning environment” RAINN

 

Statistics from The National Sexual Violence Resource Center:

  • 1 in 5 women will be raped in their lifetime
  • 1 in 71 men will be raped in their lifetime
  • 1 in 4 girls, 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before the age of 18
  • In 8 of 10 cases, the victim new the perpetrator
  • 81% of women and 35% of men report significant short- or long-term impacts such as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
  • Annually, rape costs more than any other crime ($127 billion)
  • Rape is the most under-reported crime (63% of rapes go unreported to police)
  • The rate of false reporting in several different studies has been found to be between 2% and 10%

 

Resources:

  • RAINN – What can you do to help during Sexual Assault Awareness Month?
  • NSVRC –  Find resources, get involved, view events
  • CDC – Recommended additional resources
  • Public Health – Journals, Research and Public Organizations
  • WOAR – Information and list of resources

 

April is the month to bring awareness to sexual assault and try to fight against it, but we can’t forget about it once the month is over. This is an issue that is always important, always prevalent in our society. What will you do in your attempt to support survivors and to help stop sexual assault?

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Marital Rape

March 7, 2018

I think many young people, those new to dating and/or sex, are under the impression that sex is an expectation in a relationship. I think that these thoughts, and the culture behind it, leads to many of the reported cases of marital or spousal rape.

If a man (or woman) is under the impression that he is entitled to sex at any given moment during the marriage…

Or, if a woman (or man) is unaware that it is her right to say no despite the marriage…

We are looking at probable cases of marital rape.

Today, with the rise of the #metoo movement and everything that comes with it, I think that this is a very important topic to dive into.

I’m not the only one. On a site listing the most popular controversial issues of 2018, the question “Should marital and rape be classified and punished as severely as non-marital rape?” is asked. While the question has significantly less poll votes than that of other issues listed on the page, reading people’s responses made me realize that there are still too many people that believe marital rape is not as severe as marital rape.

One percent of the current 239,108 votes believes that “marriage provides legal subordination for a spouse to have sex with the other spouse.”

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Many people that voted yes, commented things like “rape is rape,” and I think that’s the mindset we should have. Some even argue in their stances that marital rape is worse than non-marital rape.

I think that marital rape is an issue that oftentimes gets set aside, but I want to change that. If “30% of adult rape cases were committed by husbands, common-law partners, or boyfriends,” we need to address it.

 

 

 

Education on Consent should be Commonplace

January 29, 2018

Sexual violence is serious problem in the United States that needs to be addressed. Around 17.7 million American women, 2.78 million American men, have been victims of an attempted or completed rape since 1998. Every 98 seconds, another person experiences sexual assault, and only 6 of every 1000 rapists will end up in prison.

While many perpetrators of rape and sexual assault are fully aware of the unlawfulness of their actions, many are not. There are rapists out there walking around that do not even know they are rapists. Something needs to change. ConsentIsSexyThere could be a huge percentage of sexual violence that could potentially be avoided if all people are taught the meaning of consent.

Consent should be taught at home and in school; however, it’s safe to say that not all children will be getting that important education at home for whatever reason. This is why it’s so crucial that children start learning about consent as early as elementary school and that that education continues until they graduate. Most high schools have some sort of sex education; however, it’s often abstinence-based and filled with the horrors of STIs. Things like consent and healthy relationships are not taught or even mentioned in most high school sex ed classes.

“Educators should teach consent in their classrooms as early as elementary school. As an educator, you have the ability to empower young people by teaching them that they have control over their own body.

Learning to give and receive consent, or even just being aware about the concept of consent, can help children and young adults better understand their bodily rights while also giving them the courage to speak up if those rights are ever violated. Teaching consent in the classroom could help students identify and have the courage to come forward about issues such as molestation and sexual assault.”

For more information on how to teach consent in the classroom, click here.

Some parents probably cringe at the idea of teaching their kindergartener about consent; however, “the talk” isn’t necessary to teach a child about “good touch” and “bad touch.” Also, teaching children that words like “no” and “stop” are very important words to listen to. Teaching children about consent as soon as possible is crucial if people want to see a change in future generations with how sexual assault happens and is treated.

“We believe parents can start educating children about consent and empowerment as early as 1 year old and continuing into the college years. It is our sincere hope that this education can help us raise empowered young adults who have empathy for others and a clear understanding of healthy consent.

We hope parents and educators find this list of action items and teaching tools helpful, and that together we can help create a generation of children who have less rape and sexual assault in their lives.” 

For more information on how to teach children about consent, click here.

Many people, from teens to young adults to middle-aged adults, don’t understand that consent doesn’t mean not saying no. Consent is a yes. The excuse “well, she didn’t say no” doesn’t mean it wasn’t rape. Society needs to stop treating that as a valid excuse and educating people on what consent truly looks like.

Society will probably never be able to completely rid itself of rape and sexual assault; however, teaching people from a young age about consent could potentially prevent rape and sexual assault that occurs in relationships or between friends. The next generations need to be properly educated as they step into their lives to be able to cultivate healthy relationships and sexual activity.

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